I've been wondering how to say this

I haven't posted on this blog in over two months. It's not that I haven't had anything on my mind. Just the opposite. I have just had precious little that I could share in a forum as public as this. I am going through a tremendous time of transition right now - a transition that impacts me, my family and my church. About a month or so ago Kelly and I made the decision that it was time for me to step out of the sr. pastor role at Garden Community Church. There is nothing immoral or unethical going on - I was not asked to leave - my marriage is fine - I didn't steal from the church - none of that. We simply came to the conclusion that the church needed a different kind of leader and I need a better ministry fit.



The last couple of weeks have been painful for a lot of people - including me. Lots of questions. Lots of conversations. It's been hard on everyone.



Kelly and I are not sure what comes next for us. While we realize that it is not usually the way of wisdom to resign a position without a clear path ahead - we felt it was time to move on nonetheless. I have had several job conversations over the past few weeks as I have tried to figure out where we are going to land. Nothing set yet. Kelly and I are planning on relocating closer to family in either San Antonio, Dallas or Des Moines. Each of those cities not only represent great places to live long-term, but also soft places for us to land during a time of transition. If you think about it, please pray that God will make straight our path.



On a happy note - we got an offer on our house as soon as word got out that it would be for sale. We are still figuring out the contract details. I hope it all works out - that would be great.

The Power of Art

I, along with everyone else that I have talked to who watched the opening ceremony of the Olympics sat stunned at what I was seeing. We have entered into a new realm. A new bar has been set. Wouldn't you hate to be an Olympic organizer for the 2012 London games? What an act to follow. The artistry, the beauty, the technology, the precision, the excellence bordering on absolute perfection - it was an incredible show.

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And more than a little intimidating.

China is such a mystery to those of us in the West. We know that China is huge, but sometimes we forget just how huge (one out of every 5 people on the planet live there). They have a terrible record on human rights - a record they don't want anyone else to know about. They are an economic power, they are a military power, they desperately want to be seen as a technological power. It is strange, however, to have a country that is that big and that powerful and still, I (as a fairly educated person) know virtually nothing about China. They remain such a mystery. I watched the opening ceremonies in part to learn something. I wanted to see how China would handle that opportunity.

They gave me an eyeful.

If a country wants to project societal strength, technological advancement, solid history and military power - that country has some options as to who they want to handle the task of communicating such truths. They could give the stage to politicians, scientists, historians and military generals.

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Or they could hand that task to the artists.

You can display strength to the rest of the world by parading an endless line of soldiers and tanks, or you can employ 2000 drummers and essentially get across the same message.

I wonder how many others while watching that show went from delight, to wonder, to awe, to being a little creeped out and perhaps a bit frightened? At some point you cross a line from praiseworthy precision in large groups - to fear of the storm troopers who act as one. I realize that the term "storm trooper" is way too strong and perhaps a bit offensive. I know that those drummers and dancers have lives of their own with families who love them and a God who created them in His image. What I am trying to say is that the image of strength portrayed and resulting intimidation that I felt was quite possibly intended.

Only an artist of very high caliber could have created that kind of emotional response within me. Art is a powerful thing. It is able to touch us in ways that rational communication cannot. Which is why art should be seen as so very important to the Christian community. When the church fails to be actively involved in excellent and relevant art - we essentially hand over to those outside the Body of Christ a powerful tool for the shaping of the mind and the emotions and the spirit of the culture in which we live. The most underutilized assets that the church has at its disposal are not its theologians or its Christians politicians or even its pastors - but rather its artists. Theologically sound individuals who through years of hard work have achieved a level excellence in the performing arts, visual arts, musical arts, and literary arts often have a unique ability to communicate profound truth with depth and simplicity. They can communicate in ways others cannot. They can touch areas that are deep within you - areas that are hard to reach.

Perhaps there are lessons we need to learn from the Olympics. The reason the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics were as profound, moving, awe inspiring, intimidating, and slightly disturbing as they were is precisely because a highly skilled, highly knowledgeable, highly motivated, and highly funded artist was calling the shots.

The Olympics are starting! The Olympics are starting!

I am super pumped about the Olympics. I will be watching way too much television over the next couple of weeks. Kelly and I are already trying to figure out how we are going to handle the appearance of hypocrisy in front of our kids. We have made very clear to our children that if you watch too much TV, your brain turns into mashed potatoes. I am calling for a special dispensation at Olympic time. It is perfectly fine to zone out in front of the tube for the next two weeks - as long as you are watching a sport that you only get to see during the Olympics.

Which kind of brings up a beef that I have - not with the Olympics, but with Olympic coverage. I want to see the obscure stuff - rowing, badminton, fencing, ping pong - that kind of stuff. The problem is - NBC would rather show a gymnast eating dinner than a badminton match. My feeling is there are opportunities to see gymnastics throughout the year. If you watch Sunday afternoon sports regularly you'll know that the World Championships, the Olympic Trials along with other gymnastic competitions are indeed televised. I would just as soon they not show anything but the highlights of gymnastics. There is so much other cool stuff to watch. Show me the drama in the Taekwondo ring. (I don't even know the rules of Taekwondo - what a great time to learn). What are the odds that I will be able to catch some good archery competition, or kayaking, or handball? Probably not very good. Now, granted, I know nothing of those sports. They might be very boring to watch. But, the job of the network is to make me excited about it. They are missing a golden opportunity. There are only a couple of times every decade when I am willing to devote hours to watching and learning about a sport that I care nothing about. You get the Olympic spirit and find yourself cheering on athletes you have never heard of from countries you have never visited playing sports you don't understand. Isn't that great?

It remains to be seen if NBC will capitalize on their opportunity or if they will just show non-stop swimming, gymnastics and track and field.

From their perspective it probably doesn't much matter. I am going to watch anyway.

of bad backs and robots

bad backs

I am still hobbling around because of my gimpy back. I am amazed at variety of opinions I have received regarding lower back pain. I had no idea. Passionate opinions too. I must see a chiropractor; I must not go to a chiropractor; I really need physical therapy; Vitamin B helps nerves; stretch, stretch, stretch; rest and don't aggravate it; exercise; Have I considered a massage?; Codeine; muscle relaxants; heat; ice; reflexology; I probably need better shoes.

It is clear that a lot of people care for me and want to help any way they can. I am touched by their concern. I am still a little fuzzy about what I should be doing, however. Too much information - too many options. The only things I have done so far have been stretching and Codeine. (I have become a big fan of Codeine - it makes all your problems go away - I like it a lot). I am seeing the Doc again tomorrow. I think they will take X-rays. We'll see.

My buddy Rob things I am just being a wimp and that I just need to quit my crying and toughen up. He's a real friend.

Robots

My 12 yr old daughter Abby, just finished a week long robotics camp at Wichita State University. She and the other middle school students on her team worked all day, day after day, designing, building, and programing robots to perform certain tasks in competition with other teams. It was really cool - and she did awesome. It was strange, though, watching her at work. She seemed so much older sitting there with her laptop and wires everywhere trying to program her robot to use echo-location sensors so it doesn't bump into things, or light sensors so her robot can differentiate between colors. It was really quite impressive. And, it's all over my head. I find myself wanting to say things like, "well, I'll be" and "It's amazing what they can do these days" and "I never would have believed it" and "in my day we just read about robots and watched them in movies" - things like that.

My aging back and my aging kids are making me feel quite... aged.

Ed Knippers and the theology of the body

Some of you may already be quite familiar with the artist who painted the above painting - many of you are probably not familiar with him. Let me introduce you. His name is Edward Knippers and his work touches on several themes, but most notably is the theology of the body. Looking at his work and reading his "artist's statement" on his web site highlights for me once again the confusion that many in the evangelical camp seem to have about the place and importance of our physical bodies. (I am not saying that Knippers is confused - I am saying his work highlights confusion that is all around us).

I believe that much of conservative evangelicalism leans way too heavy toward gnosticism (a belief that places much greater importance upon the spiritual realm than the physical realm - to the point that the physical realm has very little importance at all). One of the teachings that the Apostle Paul consistently battled against was gnosticism. And, while none of us would admit to being gnostic, it seems to show up in the way we talk and act. We shy away from ministries that focus solely on physical needs. We are so afraid of the "social gospel" label. "We preach the gospel", we say. "Feeding the poor is what them dad-gum liberals do".

We emphasize Christ's death and not His resurrection. Even less do we emphasize our own physical resurrection. We emphasize heaven and speak of eternal life in spiritual terms only. We talk and sing about physical death as if it were a good thing - a chance to fly away and be with Jesus. Death is the heartbreaking result of the fall. Death is an awful thing - but it will one day be done away with.

John Buerger - our Pastor of Student Ministries has a great blog post about this issue - here

Well, anyway - Ed Knippers deals with this issue too. Check him out here. Make sure you read his "artist's statement". Warning - the "physicality" of his figures might make you uncomfortable to look at. He definitely prompts conversation and thought.

My aching back

My back has aged about 20 years over the last 2 weeks. I don't know what has happened to me. I can't stand for more than about 10 minutes without sitting down. (This last weekend I had to preach from a stool. I have been told that preaching from a stool makes me look hip and cool - which is a nice added benefit I suppose - not that I need any help looking hip and cool.) I'd give up the hipness if my back didn't hurt so bad. My lower back feels like it is collapsing under the weight of my torso. The pain continues when I lie down. It just aches. I don't know what I did to it.

The only time it feels ok is when I sit with bad posture - you know - kind of slouching. Supposedly, slouching is bad for your back. Not mine I guess.

Most people have lower back pain - at least that is what I have been told. I guess it is my turn now.

It stinks.

A humbling morning

My blog page has been fairly quiet because I haven't felt the liberty to share many of the things on my mind. Personal conversations and sensitive ministry issues are not material for blog discussions. Through it all I have been feeling quite introspective and a little sorry for myself.



Within the context of that self-pity, I decided to get out of the office this morning and spend some time with a few folks that I hadn't talked to in a little while. One dear woman is taking care of her husband who cannot take care of himself. Her husband is staying in a nursing home because he is too heavy for her to lift. She comes in every day and feeds him lunch and then when he rests in the afternoon, she goes home and rests. She then comes back in the evening and feeds him supper. Every day. I asked her if she has much opportunity to get together with other ladies - just for fun. Not much.



Another dear man I spent time with also has to be away from his wife quite a bit because of health issues. His Parkinson's disease and cancer have required more care than his wife can handle. But his brain is in great shape. He thinks a lot as he sits... and waits. He shared a poem with me about how blessed he is and how he desires to be a living testimony of the power of Christ.



The third person I spent time with was a woman who was recently moved out of her home and into an apartment within the nursing home here in town. She is getting old. Her kids are scared that she is going to fall. So, now she can no longer do many of the things that she used to love to do. She is in a new environment. Her kids are all far away. Her new apartment does not have a full kitchen with an oven, but the facility where she stays lets her use their oven to bake pies for the homeless shelter. She has made a conscious decision not to complain and to be an encouragement to all around her. I know of no one who is acquainted with this dear woman who does not overflow in praise for one so gracious, loving, kind, generous and joyful. What an amazing woman.



The fourth person I visited was a woman who just recently had knee replacement surgery. She lives by herself, so mobility and independence is very important to her. She was ecstatic that she is now able to walk to the mail box and back with nothing but a cane. She can also take a shower by herself. She was rejoicing and giving glory to God for His gentle care.



I went as their pastor - to be an encouragement. However, it is clear that I needed them in my life today much more than they needed me.



I am discovering that a good prescription for self-pity is to be around godly people who live under much worse circumstances than I do, and are still able to maintain their composure and exude grace and joy. I have so very much to learn.



Thank you Marguerite and Jim and Helen and Lena. You all ministered to me today.