In which I do pre-marital counseling for a couple twice my age

As a pastor I do a fair share of weddings. I also do a good bit of pre-marital counseling before those weddings take place. I have never thought of myself as much of a counselor, but I enjoy doing pre-marital sessions. Kelly and I had great counsel before our marriage. We are still benefiting from the wisdom we received.

I am currently doing pre-marital counseling with a couple that is definitely "out of the norm" for me. Usually, the couples I deal with are pretty young (usually twentysomethings). This couple is seventysomething. They had both lost their mate to death and have found each other later in life.

I think that pre-marital counseling is important, even in this type of situation because we all bring baggage in our relationships. We have certain ways we respond to stress, certain ways we resolve conflict, certain beliefs about money, etc, etc. These things need to be talked through. And so, I feel I can made a good case as to why this type of counseling is important, no matter your age. However, it is still a bit intimidating to be the pastor in this situation. Who am I to tell them anything? One of the individuals was married for close to 50 years! They should be counseling me.

Can I just say that I love this couple? Wow. They are so quick to admit their faults; so quick to admit that they don't have all the answers; so transparent in their desire to honor God in their marriage; so eager to learn principles that can benefit them in the future; so humble; so gracious. I love their dependence upon the Holy Spirit as they move into a new chapter of life. I love their sense of adventure.

It seems like age either makes people harder or softer - bitter or better - more gracious or more intolerant. As people get older they tend to move toward the extremes. A gracious person becomes very gracious. A bitter person, very bitter.

I am glad I have people in my life that can show me the way and paint a picture of what it means to age well. God bless them.

The Coffee Expert

Up until recently I was the resident coffee expert in the family. That is, until my wife became a bonifide "barista".

Kelly took a job at our favorite hang out in town, called "Lincoln Perk". It's a pretty cool place - good coffee, espresso drinks, panini sandwiches - they even sell "gelato" (a special kind of ice cream). Kelly will be working very part-time, but she hopes it will allow her to get some much needed adult interaction every week, help her meet people outside of our church and bring in a little extra money for fun stuff as a family. She is enjoying her new job. I am very happy for her.

Only one problem - I am not sure how I feel about her being the new coffee expert around here. She was telling me the other day about the technique difference between steaming milk for a latte and frothing milk for a cappuccino. News to me. It made me feel kind of strange.

I feel like I need to hand over my frothing pitcher and espresso cups to the new sheriff in town.

That's ok - I guess. I still have my grill. I am still the king around here when it comes to grilling burgers and steaks.

That is - until Kelly decides to learn how to do that too.

A good movie

I saw a good movie last night. Maybe you have seen it.

It was about a wonderful person with some unorthodox interpersonal skills and communication methods who helps a group of troubled teens. There was a lot of drama in the movie about the personal lives of the kids and the adult who was there to help them. There was also a lot of friction between the kids - at least at the beginning of the movie. But, alas - the wonderful main character breaks through the defenses of these troubled kids - wins their hearts and unites them like a family. Together they overcome insurmountable odds and achieve unheard of success.

Have you seen that one?

Maybe I am just a softy, but I love that movie. I can watch it again and again.

I think movie producers realize how much I like it as well. They keep releasing new versions of it. A couple of times per year I can watch a new take on the same story. Sometimes the setting is sports (like Hoosiers and Remember the Titans), sometimes it is the classroom (like Stand and Deliver, Dead Poets Society and Freedom Writers - the movie I saw last night). Usually, they are pretty good.

Freedom Writers was excellent. But, when I think about it - it really is (essentially) the same movie as all the others - with different characters, a different setting and different plot twists. But, at its core, it is the same essential plot. And, I love that plot.

What is it about that plot that I like so much?

I love the redemption of it all. I love the idea that an ordinary person can make a radical difference (for good) in some one's life. I love that one person's effort can be multiplied into many people and that the impact of that one person can be felt in future generations.

I love that.

Deep down, that is what I want my story to be. In the movie of my life I long to be the main character who leads ordinary people through the power of God's Spirit - and together we see the extraordinary take place. And people who didn't like each other before end up loving each other. And timid people become bold people. And a divided church becomes a united church. And marriages are healed and families restored and brokenness is mended and an old, old story of Jesus and His love becomes new and fresh and powerful outside the walls of the church. And an entire culture feels the impact of the community of faith.

Wow! That would make a great movie.

I'm an encouragement to my wife

Kelly said so herself.

My blog along with Karen Horn's blog (http://hornherd.blogspot.com/) have encouraged her to start her own. Kelly is a wonderful writer. I am excited about anything that causes her to write regularly.

Check it out - it's http://www.kellyrandomgrace.blogspot.com/

Dog + electricity

As many of you know we had a beautiful Golden Retriever named Annie. I say "had" because she died about 6 months ago from kidney failure. She was 4 years old. It was a sad time in the Holmes household.

We enjoyed having a dog around though, so not long after Annie died we started making plans for what kind of dog we would have next. We did a bunch of research on breeds and then threw all that info out the window and picked up a mutt from the Humane Society. We still don't know what kind of dog she is. I am not quite sure what we were thinking.

Our new dog is... how shall I say this?... not a very good dog. She is in need of some intense behavior modification.

Enter electricity.

We got a shock collar. We put it on her for the first time a couple of days ago. We tested it out - had to see what level of shock got her attention. It is a disturbingly powerful feeling to have that remote in your hand. Bzzzz. Bzz. Bzz. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

She responds to it quite well to it - as you might imagine.

We're hoping that the equation is: Bad dog + electricity = good dog.

We'll see.