I haven't posted on this blog in over two months. It's not that I haven't had anything on my mind. Just the opposite. I have just had precious little that I could share in a forum as public as this. I am going through a tremendous time of transition right now - a transition that impacts me, my family and my church. About a month or so ago Kelly and I made the decision that it was time for me to step out of the sr. pastor role at Garden Community Church. There is nothing immoral or unethical going on - I was not asked to leave - my marriage is fine - I didn't steal from the church - none of that. We simply came to the conclusion that the church needed a different kind of leader and I need a better ministry fit.
The last couple of weeks have been painful for a lot of people - including me. Lots of questions. Lots of conversations. It's been hard on everyone.
Kelly and I are not sure what comes next for us. While we realize that it is not usually the way of wisdom to resign a position without a clear path ahead - we felt it was time to move on nonetheless. I have had several job conversations over the past few weeks as I have tried to figure out where we are going to land. Nothing set yet. Kelly and I are planning on relocating closer to family in either San Antonio, Dallas or Des Moines. Each of those cities not only represent great places to live long-term, but also soft places for us to land during a time of transition. If you think about it, please pray that God will make straight our path.
On a happy note - we got an offer on our house as soon as word got out that it would be for sale. We are still figuring out the contract details. I hope it all works out - that would be great.
Showing posts with label Spiritual life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spiritual life. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
A humbling morning
My blog page has been fairly quiet because I haven't felt the liberty to share many of the things on my mind. Personal conversations and sensitive ministry issues are not material for blog discussions. Through it all I have been feeling quite introspective and a little sorry for myself.
Within the context of that self-pity, I decided to get out of the office this morning and spend some time with a few folks that I hadn't talked to in a little while. One dear woman is taking care of her husband who cannot take care of himself. Her husband is staying in a nursing home because he is too heavy for her to lift. She comes in every day and feeds him lunch and then when he rests in the afternoon, she goes home and rests. She then comes back in the evening and feeds him supper. Every day. I asked her if she has much opportunity to get together with other ladies - just for fun. Not much.
Another dear man I spent time with also has to be away from his wife quite a bit because of health issues. His Parkinson's disease and cancer have required more care than his wife can handle. But his brain is in great shape. He thinks a lot as he sits... and waits. He shared a poem with me about how blessed he is and how he desires to be a living testimony of the power of Christ.
The third person I spent time with was a woman who was recently moved out of her home and into an apartment within the nursing home here in town. She is getting old. Her kids are scared that she is going to fall. So, now she can no longer do many of the things that she used to love to do. She is in a new environment. Her kids are all far away. Her new apartment does not have a full kitchen with an oven, but the facility where she stays lets her use their oven to bake pies for the homeless shelter. She has made a conscious decision not to complain and to be an encouragement to all around her. I know of no one who is acquainted with this dear woman who does not overflow in praise for one so gracious, loving, kind, generous and joyful. What an amazing woman.
The fourth person I visited was a woman who just recently had knee replacement surgery. She lives by herself, so mobility and independence is very important to her. She was ecstatic that she is now able to walk to the mail box and back with nothing but a cane. She can also take a shower by herself. She was rejoicing and giving glory to God for His gentle care.
I went as their pastor - to be an encouragement. However, it is clear that I needed them in my life today much more than they needed me.
I am discovering that a good prescription for self-pity is to be around godly people who live under much worse circumstances than I do, and are still able to maintain their composure and exude grace and joy. I have so very much to learn.
Thank you Marguerite and Jim and Helen and Lena. You all ministered to me today.
Within the context of that self-pity, I decided to get out of the office this morning and spend some time with a few folks that I hadn't talked to in a little while. One dear woman is taking care of her husband who cannot take care of himself. Her husband is staying in a nursing home because he is too heavy for her to lift. She comes in every day and feeds him lunch and then when he rests in the afternoon, she goes home and rests. She then comes back in the evening and feeds him supper. Every day. I asked her if she has much opportunity to get together with other ladies - just for fun. Not much.
Another dear man I spent time with also has to be away from his wife quite a bit because of health issues. His Parkinson's disease and cancer have required more care than his wife can handle. But his brain is in great shape. He thinks a lot as he sits... and waits. He shared a poem with me about how blessed he is and how he desires to be a living testimony of the power of Christ.
The third person I spent time with was a woman who was recently moved out of her home and into an apartment within the nursing home here in town. She is getting old. Her kids are scared that she is going to fall. So, now she can no longer do many of the things that she used to love to do. She is in a new environment. Her kids are all far away. Her new apartment does not have a full kitchen with an oven, but the facility where she stays lets her use their oven to bake pies for the homeless shelter. She has made a conscious decision not to complain and to be an encouragement to all around her. I know of no one who is acquainted with this dear woman who does not overflow in praise for one so gracious, loving, kind, generous and joyful. What an amazing woman.
The fourth person I visited was a woman who just recently had knee replacement surgery. She lives by herself, so mobility and independence is very important to her. She was ecstatic that she is now able to walk to the mail box and back with nothing but a cane. She can also take a shower by herself. She was rejoicing and giving glory to God for His gentle care.
I went as their pastor - to be an encouragement. However, it is clear that I needed them in my life today much more than they needed me.
I am discovering that a good prescription for self-pity is to be around godly people who live under much worse circumstances than I do, and are still able to maintain their composure and exude grace and joy. I have so very much to learn.
Thank you Marguerite and Jim and Helen and Lena. You all ministered to me today.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Spring, spring - glorious spring
In one of C.S. Lewis' books (I can't remember which one), he talks about the delicate balance between our need for permanence and our need for change. We each have both of those needs - in differing degrees. As a pastor I deal with people on both ends of the spectrum. Some have a high need for permanence and get very nervous whenever they experience any type of change. Others have a high need for change and feel bored and stagnant whenever things stay the same for too long. But, even those who love permanence don't eat the same food every day. We all need change - at least a little. Even those who love change feel uneasy when the thing being changed is something near and dear to their heart. We all need something secure to count on.
We need all need both change and permanence, but they seem at odds with one another.
The balance between the two is found in... rhythm.
We live in a cycle of rhythm every year in the coming and going of seasons. Every winter I long for spring. I desperately desire the change that spring brings. But is it really change? Every year spring is pretty much the same as the previous year. I know what to expect. I am not longing for something new and different. I am appreciating the cycle of the seasons. The seasons illustrate a permanent cycle of change. Spring feels new and exciting... every year.
Much the same happens within the church. I do not come from a tradition that puts much stock in the formal church calendar. But, even within my tradition we all look forward to singing the same songs at Christmas time, I cry at our Good Friday service... every year. Every time I celebrate Communion it is a little bit different - but for 2,000 years communion has remained very much the same. The Old Testament feasts and festivals illustrate this year by year cycle of change. There is a time for feasting, a time for fasting, a time for weeping, a time for laughing. It is not right to weep all the time. Nor is it right to laugh all the time.
Rhythm walks the line between permanence and change. Rhythm lets me grasp permanence and change at the same time.
I plan on tilling up a vegetable garden this evening when I get home. This weekend I plan on dividing and transplanting some perennials that are already coming up. In a couple of months flowers will be blooming and my family and I will be eating fresh lettuce from our garden. How do I know these things will happen? Because I know that in God's unchanging nature - winter will not last forever. Change is coming. The flowers will bloom. The birds will sing. This night will end. Our unchanging God brings necessary change into our lives.
I love spring.
We need all need both change and permanence, but they seem at odds with one another.
The balance between the two is found in... rhythm.
We live in a cycle of rhythm every year in the coming and going of seasons. Every winter I long for spring. I desperately desire the change that spring brings. But is it really change? Every year spring is pretty much the same as the previous year. I know what to expect. I am not longing for something new and different. I am appreciating the cycle of the seasons. The seasons illustrate a permanent cycle of change. Spring feels new and exciting... every year.
Much the same happens within the church. I do not come from a tradition that puts much stock in the formal church calendar. But, even within my tradition we all look forward to singing the same songs at Christmas time, I cry at our Good Friday service... every year. Every time I celebrate Communion it is a little bit different - but for 2,000 years communion has remained very much the same. The Old Testament feasts and festivals illustrate this year by year cycle of change. There is a time for feasting, a time for fasting, a time for weeping, a time for laughing. It is not right to weep all the time. Nor is it right to laugh all the time.
Rhythm walks the line between permanence and change. Rhythm lets me grasp permanence and change at the same time.
I plan on tilling up a vegetable garden this evening when I get home. This weekend I plan on dividing and transplanting some perennials that are already coming up. In a couple of months flowers will be blooming and my family and I will be eating fresh lettuce from our garden. How do I know these things will happen? Because I know that in God's unchanging nature - winter will not last forever. Change is coming. The flowers will bloom. The birds will sing. This night will end. Our unchanging God brings necessary change into our lives.
I love spring.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
"Too bad the rules don't allow me to be merciful"
This past Sunday I used yet another movie for an illustration in the message I was giving. I think that the story of Les Miserables is one of the most poignant and dramatic that I have ever come across. I have seen the live performance twice. I have seen the most recent movie (the one with Liam Neeson) multiple times. I have been told that previous versions of the movie are even better. I don't know. I haven't seen them. Someday I will muster my courage to read Victor Hugo's tome by the same title. Maybe someday.
There are so many themes touched upon in this story - it would be impractical to recount them all here. At it's heart it is a story of redemption, law and grace. Grace as portrayed by Jean Valjean, an ex-convict who is shown extraordinary, life changing grace at the beginning of the story. Law as portrayed by Javert, a police lieutenant who has spent his entire life "trying to never break a single rule."
As the story progresses, the one who has been shown mercy and grace bestows grace upon others. The one who lives under law shows no mercy and needs none for himself. Nor will he accept grace once it is offered. Grace is out of keeping with a man of justice.
But, throughout the story grace can't prevail. Valjean is hunted. There is still a price to pay. The law requires it. Good intentions cannot overcome the requirement of the law. And the law is good and right and just. Only by one final act of self-sacrifice - under the law - by the one who keeps the law - can the law be satisfied and grace truly prevail. Only then can there be freedom.
Wow. That'll preach.
If you haven't seen it, see it. There are multiple movie versions. I am sure there is still a traveling group somewhere still performing the musical. It's well worth the price of admission - or at least a dvd rental.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
A restless present
I was reading Philip Yancey's book Reaching for the Invisible God the other day when I came across this sentence, "Strong memories soothe a restless present". It stopped me. I stared at that sentence - and stared at it. It was what I needed.
In the chapter I was reading, Yancey had been talking about what it means to walk in faith in our present circumstances. Sadly, it seems that much of the time, the lives we actually experience appear to betray our notions of what the Christian life is "supposed" to be. We believe in a God who is powerful, and who loves us and who intervenes in the affairs of men and who answers prayer and delights in blessing us. That's what we believe - a personal, intimate, powerful, loving God who is actively involved in our lives. We also have assumptions of what a life like that is supposed to look like - supposed to feel like. But we all go through times when one (or many) of those characteristics of a relationship with God seem seem to be absent - or just plain false. Times when God seems neither powerful nor loving. Times when He seems to be in no particular hurry to answer prayer or be involved at all.
What does it mean to walk by faith in those times? How is faith maintained?
Yancey argues that a key to walking by faith in the present is the ability to hold onto the past and the future at the same time. To lift our eyes from our current life and gaze at the life to come and also to look back at God's faithfulness and intervention in the past. We see His involvement and his faithfulness to his promises much easier when we look at broad brush strokes over long periods of time. We have to have these types of bird's eye views on our life or else we'll go crazy. Our circumstances will draw us away from what we know and believe about God. We'll believe the lie that our present circumstances teach us.
To a large degree, faith is the ability to trust in the goodness of God even when all the circumstances of our life seem to argue against it.
I know what it feels like to go through long stretches of silence - when God seems to have forgotten my address - times when a relationship with Him does not at all feel like I thought it would feel. I know what that's like.
And I imagine that anyone who might be reading this blog also knows what it is like. Yancey's statement is a good reminder to lift our eyes - to take a deep breath and gaze far into the future and into the past - to see that our present circumstances are not the complete story. There is more to life than meets the eye.
Don't be fooled. God still loves you. He is still in control. He is still listening. He still deserves our trust.
Hang in there.
In the chapter I was reading, Yancey had been talking about what it means to walk in faith in our present circumstances. Sadly, it seems that much of the time, the lives we actually experience appear to betray our notions of what the Christian life is "supposed" to be. We believe in a God who is powerful, and who loves us and who intervenes in the affairs of men and who answers prayer and delights in blessing us. That's what we believe - a personal, intimate, powerful, loving God who is actively involved in our lives. We also have assumptions of what a life like that is supposed to look like - supposed to feel like. But we all go through times when one (or many) of those characteristics of a relationship with God seem seem to be absent - or just plain false. Times when God seems neither powerful nor loving. Times when He seems to be in no particular hurry to answer prayer or be involved at all.
What does it mean to walk by faith in those times? How is faith maintained?
Yancey argues that a key to walking by faith in the present is the ability to hold onto the past and the future at the same time. To lift our eyes from our current life and gaze at the life to come and also to look back at God's faithfulness and intervention in the past. We see His involvement and his faithfulness to his promises much easier when we look at broad brush strokes over long periods of time. We have to have these types of bird's eye views on our life or else we'll go crazy. Our circumstances will draw us away from what we know and believe about God. We'll believe the lie that our present circumstances teach us.
To a large degree, faith is the ability to trust in the goodness of God even when all the circumstances of our life seem to argue against it.
I know what it feels like to go through long stretches of silence - when God seems to have forgotten my address - times when a relationship with Him does not at all feel like I thought it would feel. I know what that's like.
And I imagine that anyone who might be reading this blog also knows what it is like. Yancey's statement is a good reminder to lift our eyes - to take a deep breath and gaze far into the future and into the past - to see that our present circumstances are not the complete story. There is more to life than meets the eye.
Don't be fooled. God still loves you. He is still in control. He is still listening. He still deserves our trust.
Hang in there.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Back, back, way back
For the month of December, I am going to preach a series on the incarnation of the Son of God.
We all love Christmas. Many of us remember that Christmas is about the incarnation of Christ. Some of us even have a nativity scene set up in our home to help us remember the reason for this season. But even in Christian circles I think few of us ever grasp the magnitude of what we are celebrating.
So, I've been doing a lot of reading lately on the topic and I've found renewed encouragement and council from companions that I too often forget about - really old books.
If we define the church as all those "in Christ" from Pentecost to Rapture, then we are to see all believers (living or dead) as part of "The Body" - with something to contribute. Sadly, we often fall into a rut (I know I have at times) of leaning solely on contemporaries - of assuming that newer is better. We miss a whole lot when we do that. I read the old guys in seminary, but sadly, I don't blow the dust off those old books too much any more.
The truth is, however, there have been some major theological battles fought at different times in the history of the church. In fact, most of the major theological battles have already been fought. What's the old saying? - Those who forget their past are doomed to repeat it. That happens all the time in the church. When that Jehovah's Witness comes to our door, we can realize that their arguments are just a re-packaging of Arianism which was condemned at Council of Nicaea nearly 1700 years ago. It gives you a great sense of comfort to know that you have 1700 years of orthodoxy on your side.
Which brings me back to my series on the incarnation. The deity and humanity of Christ was the big topic at the council of Nicaea in 325a.d. The results of Nicaea were later re-affirmed at the Council of Constantinople in 381a.d. These were really smart guys, led by the Spirit and seeking God's mind on important theological matters.
Well, the big gun at Nicaea who also led the fight against Arianism during the 60 years between Nicaea and Constantinople was a man by the name of Athanasius. His work, On the Incarnation has remained perhaps the most authoritative work on the incarnation for 16 centuries (and counting).
So, I am going back - reading some of the old guys. To be quite honest, it's making me feel dumb. With all our technological advances, I think humanity is getting stupider, not smarter. Man, these guys were smart.
I had higher hopes of doing the doctrine of the incarnation justice before I began to re-read Athanasius. I am feeling a bit small at the moment.
We'll see how it goes.
By the way - if you want to read On the Incarnation, there are multiple places online where you can read it or download it for free. It's public domain. Here's a link to a good translation with an introduction by C.S. Lewis. http://www.spurgeon.org/~phil/history/ath-inc.htm
We all love Christmas. Many of us remember that Christmas is about the incarnation of Christ. Some of us even have a nativity scene set up in our home to help us remember the reason for this season. But even in Christian circles I think few of us ever grasp the magnitude of what we are celebrating.
A correct understanding of the doctrine of the incarnation is really important. It matters that Jesus was fully human and not just filling a human shell. It matters that the divine nature of Jesus was not created, but was sent forth from the Father - that the second person of the Trinity is fully God. Theologically, these things matter... a lot. These are biggies. And as confusing as it is to reconcile the divine and human nature of Christ - I think we need to be confused... and amazed... and awestruck if we are going to celebrate Christmas well. That's my goal with this series.
It's quite a daunting challenge, and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.So, I've been doing a lot of reading lately on the topic and I've found renewed encouragement and council from companions that I too often forget about - really old books.
If we define the church as all those "in Christ" from Pentecost to Rapture, then we are to see all believers (living or dead) as part of "The Body" - with something to contribute. Sadly, we often fall into a rut (I know I have at times) of leaning solely on contemporaries - of assuming that newer is better. We miss a whole lot when we do that. I read the old guys in seminary, but sadly, I don't blow the dust off those old books too much any more.
The truth is, however, there have been some major theological battles fought at different times in the history of the church. In fact, most of the major theological battles have already been fought. What's the old saying? - Those who forget their past are doomed to repeat it. That happens all the time in the church. When that Jehovah's Witness comes to our door, we can realize that their arguments are just a re-packaging of Arianism which was condemned at Council of Nicaea nearly 1700 years ago. It gives you a great sense of comfort to know that you have 1700 years of orthodoxy on your side.
Which brings me back to my series on the incarnation. The deity and humanity of Christ was the big topic at the council of Nicaea in 325a.d. The results of Nicaea were later re-affirmed at the Council of Constantinople in 381a.d. These were really smart guys, led by the Spirit and seeking God's mind on important theological matters.
Well, the big gun at Nicaea who also led the fight against Arianism during the 60 years between Nicaea and Constantinople was a man by the name of Athanasius. His work, On the Incarnation has remained perhaps the most authoritative work on the incarnation for 16 centuries (and counting).
So, I am going back - reading some of the old guys. To be quite honest, it's making me feel dumb. With all our technological advances, I think humanity is getting stupider, not smarter. Man, these guys were smart.
I had higher hopes of doing the doctrine of the incarnation justice before I began to re-read Athanasius. I am feeling a bit small at the moment.
We'll see how it goes.
By the way - if you want to read On the Incarnation, there are multiple places online where you can read it or download it for free. It's public domain. Here's a link to a good translation with an introduction by C.S. Lewis. http://www.spurgeon.org/~phil/history/ath-inc.htm
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Common Grace
I had one of those "stopping to smell the roses" moments after work today.
We have gardens that Kelly and I have planted all around our house. Today I took the time to stroll around the house and look at the flowers. One part of the garden was swarming with Monarch Butterflies. It was really quite spectacular.
Here are a couple of pictures that I took.
Before I walked out there, this beautiful scene was already being played out - for no one's enjoyment except God alone. I was able to enjoy it for a few short minutes. Then I went back inside. The butterflies continued their display out in the garden.
It's common grace.
God creates beauty and scenes of wonder simply because he is good, and as Annie Dillard says, "The creator likes pizazz". Whether humans take the time to notice it or not, the beauty is there. And, it's there for everybody - the sinner and the saint - the pagan and the pious. It's there for whoever will take the time to notice it. Anybody could have walked up and enjoyed the beauty in that garden today. His beauty as displayed in creation is a common grace.
I am glad I wasn't so dull today that I missed his gift outside my own back door.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Jesus on the offensive
Last Sunday made me woozy. I still haven't quite recovered.
I am teaching through Luke. Last Sunday I was in Luke 11:37-54. These are perhaps the harshest words that Jesus speaks to anyone - anywhere in the gospels. While having a meal at a Pharisee's house with both Pharisees and scribes present, Jesus goes "gloves off" to the religious authorities of his day. It is blistering.
An interesting thing about this passage is that Jesus is not rebuking them for rejecting Him (which eventually they would do). He is rebuking them for things like: hypocrisy; having a polished external religion that betrays the sin in their heart; for creating a religion that majors on the minors and ignores what's most important; for seeking status; for burdening people with unnecessary rules that actually draw people away from a pure relationship with God; for wrongly thinking that they are the orthodox ones in line with the prophets of old (when in actuality they were cut from the same cloth as those who killed the prophets).
Those descriptions that brought about the harsh rebuke from Jesus - I am ashamed to say - are present in my own life much more often than I would care to admit. And, I am embarrassed to say, the Christian community is rampant with this stuff. We spend a lot of effort polishing an external facade - making ourselves look more spiritual than we really are. We are all too often guilty of majoring on the minors while ignoring things that really matter, things like loving God and loving people, grace toward sinners, justice for the oppressed, mercy for those in need. We have turned a relationship with God into a definable religion that has a certain look to it (certain way of dressing, acting, talking, etc.) - but often times does not share the same heart of Christ for those who are lost, sin sick, in need, physically hungry, scared, lonely, and hurting. Are we not just as guilty of looking the part but lacking the heart?
It makes me wonder. Who in today's society would receive the harshest words from Jesus?
There are many in the Christian community that think we are in a "culture war". We are warring against immoral media, liberal politicians and activist judges. You will hear many harsh words from the Christian camp against those who threaten to take our nation away from its "Judeo/Christian" roots. But, are those the types of people that received the harshest words from Jesus in his day? Did he pull out the big guns against Roman authorities? Were his harshest words against those who led a public lifestyle of sin like immoral prostitutes or thieving tax collectors? Did he fight political battles in an attempt to moralize a pagan culture? Jesus was in a war alright, but it wasn't against the culture he lived in - His war was against the Devil. He did not see people as the enemy. He saw them as hostages in a Spiritual battle.
His harshest words were not for the hostages. Nor were his harshest words directed toward the pagan, awful culture that those blind hostages created. His harshest words were for those who claimed they could see - for those who claimed to know the truth - for those who were supposed to be the rescue swimmers for the lost and drowning. They were supposed to be representing Him.
So, here is the question again - who in our day would receive the harshest words from Jesus?
Like I said, this sermon made me woozy.
I hope people come back this Sunday.
I am teaching through Luke. Last Sunday I was in Luke 11:37-54. These are perhaps the harshest words that Jesus speaks to anyone - anywhere in the gospels. While having a meal at a Pharisee's house with both Pharisees and scribes present, Jesus goes "gloves off" to the religious authorities of his day. It is blistering.
An interesting thing about this passage is that Jesus is not rebuking them for rejecting Him (which eventually they would do). He is rebuking them for things like: hypocrisy; having a polished external religion that betrays the sin in their heart; for creating a religion that majors on the minors and ignores what's most important; for seeking status; for burdening people with unnecessary rules that actually draw people away from a pure relationship with God; for wrongly thinking that they are the orthodox ones in line with the prophets of old (when in actuality they were cut from the same cloth as those who killed the prophets).
Those descriptions that brought about the harsh rebuke from Jesus - I am ashamed to say - are present in my own life much more often than I would care to admit. And, I am embarrassed to say, the Christian community is rampant with this stuff. We spend a lot of effort polishing an external facade - making ourselves look more spiritual than we really are. We are all too often guilty of majoring on the minors while ignoring things that really matter, things like loving God and loving people, grace toward sinners, justice for the oppressed, mercy for those in need. We have turned a relationship with God into a definable religion that has a certain look to it (certain way of dressing, acting, talking, etc.) - but often times does not share the same heart of Christ for those who are lost, sin sick, in need, physically hungry, scared, lonely, and hurting. Are we not just as guilty of looking the part but lacking the heart?
It makes me wonder. Who in today's society would receive the harshest words from Jesus?
There are many in the Christian community that think we are in a "culture war". We are warring against immoral media, liberal politicians and activist judges. You will hear many harsh words from the Christian camp against those who threaten to take our nation away from its "Judeo/Christian" roots. But, are those the types of people that received the harshest words from Jesus in his day? Did he pull out the big guns against Roman authorities? Were his harshest words against those who led a public lifestyle of sin like immoral prostitutes or thieving tax collectors? Did he fight political battles in an attempt to moralize a pagan culture? Jesus was in a war alright, but it wasn't against the culture he lived in - His war was against the Devil. He did not see people as the enemy. He saw them as hostages in a Spiritual battle.
His harshest words were not for the hostages. Nor were his harshest words directed toward the pagan, awful culture that those blind hostages created. His harshest words were for those who claimed they could see - for those who claimed to know the truth - for those who were supposed to be the rescue swimmers for the lost and drowning. They were supposed to be representing Him.
So, here is the question again - who in our day would receive the harshest words from Jesus?
Like I said, this sermon made me woozy.
I hope people come back this Sunday.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
the latest big thing in the Holmes' household
My two oldest daughters have always shared a room. They are only a year and a half apart. And, since we have not lived in very big houses - having them share a room has always made the best sense. All that changed on Monday.
We have have begun a new chapter in our household. In the lives of my daughters, this is a REALLY BIG DEAL. They now each have their own room.
It is becoming quite evident that my girls are very different from each other. With each year that passes their interests are seeming to get more and more divergent. It's almost like they are they are totally different people. It's strange. And while I genuinely think they love each other - they don't always want to be in the same room with each other. So - recently they began lobbying hard for their own space.
I was the toughest sell on the idea, for two reasons. Reason 1 - I tend to think it's healthy for them to have to work things out and be forced to live together. Good life training - know what I mean? But, then again, I never had to share a room with anybody when I was growing up. So what do I know? Reason 2 -while I know it's selfish, I didn't want to give up our guest room/home office space. Now our home office stuff has to be put somewhere else in the house - making our house feel even more smallish.
Oh well - we'll live.
In the end I was convinced that making the move was a good idea. Now, two days after the move I am even more convinced. Their personalities are blossoming - even in how they choose to decorate their space.
My prayer is that they won't grow apart from each other and become distant. I hope this will help them get along if they are not in each other's face all time. If we see them becoming more and more distant from each other, we may have to make yet another change. We'll see.
Boy, this parenting thing is tough. We are told in Proverbs to train up our children in the way they should go. Too bad there is not a one size fits all approach that works for every child and every family as to how to go about doing that. It's clear that "the way a child should go" is more than just moral standards. "The way a child should go" has a lot to do with the way a child is wired by their creator. Within the constraints of clear moral behavior there are a lot of different paths to choose - a lot of different personalities, a lot of different interests. One of the roles of a parent is to help that child navigate and find the best possible path for them - the path of greatest kingdom impact - that path that will best use the strengths and talents and gifts that their creator has given them.
And, to do all that while trying to maintain a relatively peaceful household.
I'll say it again - this parenting thing is really tough. It takes an incredible amount of discernment, and agility, and emotional flexibility, and humility, and strength, and communication, and love, and patience. and... Any author or speaker who boils good parenting down to a handful of steps is lying to himself and doing a disservice to his audience.
I realize that in the grand scheme of things, deciding to give the girls their own room is a relatively small decision. There have been much bigger decisions we have faced - and I know there are much, much, much bigger decisions we will make in the future. But, this week, the room thing is the decision at hand.
A year ago I would have said, "Abby and Emma will share a room until they go to college". And I could have clearly explained why. But, I am learning that sometimes it is not healthy to "stick to your guns". Sometimes it is better to take a dynamic approach to parenting that requires a reassessment at each new season. Sometimes what is required is humility, and flexibility, and maybe even a change of course.
We have have begun a new chapter in our household. In the lives of my daughters, this is a REALLY BIG DEAL. They now each have their own room.
It is becoming quite evident that my girls are very different from each other. With each year that passes their interests are seeming to get more and more divergent. It's almost like they are they are totally different people. It's strange. And while I genuinely think they love each other - they don't always want to be in the same room with each other. So - recently they began lobbying hard for their own space.
I was the toughest sell on the idea, for two reasons. Reason 1 - I tend to think it's healthy for them to have to work things out and be forced to live together. Good life training - know what I mean? But, then again, I never had to share a room with anybody when I was growing up. So what do I know? Reason 2 -while I know it's selfish, I didn't want to give up our guest room/home office space. Now our home office stuff has to be put somewhere else in the house - making our house feel even more smallish.
Oh well - we'll live.
In the end I was convinced that making the move was a good idea. Now, two days after the move I am even more convinced. Their personalities are blossoming - even in how they choose to decorate their space.
My prayer is that they won't grow apart from each other and become distant. I hope this will help them get along if they are not in each other's face all time. If we see them becoming more and more distant from each other, we may have to make yet another change. We'll see.
Boy, this parenting thing is tough. We are told in Proverbs to train up our children in the way they should go. Too bad there is not a one size fits all approach that works for every child and every family as to how to go about doing that. It's clear that "the way a child should go" is more than just moral standards. "The way a child should go" has a lot to do with the way a child is wired by their creator. Within the constraints of clear moral behavior there are a lot of different paths to choose - a lot of different personalities, a lot of different interests. One of the roles of a parent is to help that child navigate and find the best possible path for them - the path of greatest kingdom impact - that path that will best use the strengths and talents and gifts that their creator has given them.
And, to do all that while trying to maintain a relatively peaceful household.
I'll say it again - this parenting thing is really tough. It takes an incredible amount of discernment, and agility, and emotional flexibility, and humility, and strength, and communication, and love, and patience. and... Any author or speaker who boils good parenting down to a handful of steps is lying to himself and doing a disservice to his audience.
I realize that in the grand scheme of things, deciding to give the girls their own room is a relatively small decision. There have been much bigger decisions we have faced - and I know there are much, much, much bigger decisions we will make in the future. But, this week, the room thing is the decision at hand.
A year ago I would have said, "Abby and Emma will share a room until they go to college". And I could have clearly explained why. But, I am learning that sometimes it is not healthy to "stick to your guns". Sometimes it is better to take a dynamic approach to parenting that requires a reassessment at each new season. Sometimes what is required is humility, and flexibility, and maybe even a change of course.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
big fear #3
Here to round out my top three fears in my phobia theme.
The fear of failure.
This one is the hardest for me to write about. There are very few areas of my life that are not touched by this fear. The fear of failure has gone a long way in shaping who I am - I am sorry to say.
I loved sports growing up. But, by the time I was a senior in high school, I didn’t go out for any sport. Why? - because, while I was a pretty good athlete as a 13 year old, I was a mediocre athlete as a 17 year old. And, because when you are a senior there is no JV to fall back on. You either make varsity or you get cut. There was a very real chance I would get cut as a senior. So what did I do? I quit before I gave the coaches a chance. Not one of my prouder moments.
What’s even more embarrassing is how often this fear of failure pops up in my relationship with God. And I should know better. Christianity is so wonderful precisely because it is not a merit based system where success and failure are determined by our behavior. My standing before God; my acceptance in his family; my eternal security… has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with the righteousness of another. Our obedience – our Christian life is not to be some lame attempt to avoid failure in something we could have never been successful at in the first place. Jesus has purchased our success. Our victory and our hope are in him – and him alone. We need never fear that we might lose God’s favor or his love toward those who are in Christ. That’s what I preach at least; that’s what I tell others when they come into my office for counseling; that’s what I believe – really and truly.
But, believing that and remembering it day by day are two very different things. Grace seems so foreign to me at times – so contrary to my nature. I keep having to tell myself that grace is true. But… it just seems too good to be true.
In my weaker moments I tend to imagine God shaking his head toward me, “What a disappointment you are, Greg. You had such potential – I had such high hopes in you. You were going to do such great things for the Kingdom. Look at you. You are a failure.”
I wonder how much of my obedience, how much of my ministry is prompted not out of love and gratitude for the one who loved me first – but out of fear that I might actually hear those words from God.
It’s kind of sad isn’t it? Living in fear that the God of the universe who loves me so much that he would give his only son in my behalf, would get fed up with me because I didn’t have a quiet-time today. It doesn’t make much sense does it?
I realize how silly it is. But, it’s hard to teach a stubborn soul new grace. God is still working on me. I still have a long way to go.
There is one who wants me to feel like a failure. But, it isn’t God.
The fear of failure.
This one is the hardest for me to write about. There are very few areas of my life that are not touched by this fear. The fear of failure has gone a long way in shaping who I am - I am sorry to say.
I loved sports growing up. But, by the time I was a senior in high school, I didn’t go out for any sport. Why? - because, while I was a pretty good athlete as a 13 year old, I was a mediocre athlete as a 17 year old. And, because when you are a senior there is no JV to fall back on. You either make varsity or you get cut. There was a very real chance I would get cut as a senior. So what did I do? I quit before I gave the coaches a chance. Not one of my prouder moments.
What’s even more embarrassing is how often this fear of failure pops up in my relationship with God. And I should know better. Christianity is so wonderful precisely because it is not a merit based system where success and failure are determined by our behavior. My standing before God; my acceptance in his family; my eternal security… has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with the righteousness of another. Our obedience – our Christian life is not to be some lame attempt to avoid failure in something we could have never been successful at in the first place. Jesus has purchased our success. Our victory and our hope are in him – and him alone. We need never fear that we might lose God’s favor or his love toward those who are in Christ. That’s what I preach at least; that’s what I tell others when they come into my office for counseling; that’s what I believe – really and truly.
But, believing that and remembering it day by day are two very different things. Grace seems so foreign to me at times – so contrary to my nature. I keep having to tell myself that grace is true. But… it just seems too good to be true.
In my weaker moments I tend to imagine God shaking his head toward me, “What a disappointment you are, Greg. You had such potential – I had such high hopes in you. You were going to do such great things for the Kingdom. Look at you. You are a failure.”
I wonder how much of my obedience, how much of my ministry is prompted not out of love and gratitude for the one who loved me first – but out of fear that I might actually hear those words from God.
It’s kind of sad isn’t it? Living in fear that the God of the universe who loves me so much that he would give his only son in my behalf, would get fed up with me because I didn’t have a quiet-time today. It doesn’t make much sense does it?
I realize how silly it is. But, it’s hard to teach a stubborn soul new grace. God is still working on me. I still have a long way to go.
There is one who wants me to feel like a failure. But, it isn’t God.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Big fear #2
Continuing with my phobia theme.
Here is my big fear #2 - Missing out. I have this pretty significant fear that I am going to come to the end and realize that I missed it - that I missed the big opportunities, took a wrong turn, found myself a long way down the wrong road. But when I say I fear missing key opportunities, I am not talking about financial/investment/business/career opportunities. I think a lot of people fear missing their big chance to become successful and/or rich. I honestly don't have that fear - at least not too much. Partly that is because I am so completely inept when it comes to business and money. There is no way I would be able to tell the difference between a good business opportunity and a bad one - a good investment from a bad one. No way. If I feared missing my big chance to make money, I would be a basket case.
When I talk about opportunities, I am talking about ministry opportunities - opportunities to expand the kingdom - throw deep - make a difference.
I am of the belief that God's will for my life has much more to do with the type of person I am than the place that I am living or the job I am doing or whether or not I turn right or left today. I think that within the will of God we have a tremendous amount of freedom to pursue our passions, make decisions, pick a path. I don't fear missing God's will for my life. His will for me is plainly stated in Scripture. If you or I are trusting Christ and desiring to follow Him and be more like Him, it would be more difficult to be outside of His will than it would be to stay in it.
But, the decisions that we have freedom to make have real consequences. How many ministry opportunities am I faced with daily? I don't know. How many opportunities come and go unnoticed because I was in my own little world - thinking about something else? What would have happened had I made that phone call, engaged in that situation when I had the time, turned right instead of left? Who knows. Again, I don't fear that by turning left and not right I am somehow outside of God's will for my life. But, choosing one path necessarily means not choosing all the others. And, oftentimes, different paths go different directions.
I fear coming to the end and realizing that I missed a more adventurous path - a path of greater kingdom impact. Instead, I chose... not a sinful path - not a path outside of God's will - just... an easier path. A path with less rewards, less impact - a path of lesser resistance. I have a keen understanding that I only get one shot at this thing called life. I have the fleeting opportunity to magnify the glory of God in my flesh in the few short years I am here.
I don't want to miss it.
I really, really don't want to miss it.
Here is my big fear #2 - Missing out. I have this pretty significant fear that I am going to come to the end and realize that I missed it - that I missed the big opportunities, took a wrong turn, found myself a long way down the wrong road. But when I say I fear missing key opportunities, I am not talking about financial/investment/business/career opportunities. I think a lot of people fear missing their big chance to become successful and/or rich. I honestly don't have that fear - at least not too much. Partly that is because I am so completely inept when it comes to business and money. There is no way I would be able to tell the difference between a good business opportunity and a bad one - a good investment from a bad one. No way. If I feared missing my big chance to make money, I would be a basket case.
When I talk about opportunities, I am talking about ministry opportunities - opportunities to expand the kingdom - throw deep - make a difference.
I am of the belief that God's will for my life has much more to do with the type of person I am than the place that I am living or the job I am doing or whether or not I turn right or left today. I think that within the will of God we have a tremendous amount of freedom to pursue our passions, make decisions, pick a path. I don't fear missing God's will for my life. His will for me is plainly stated in Scripture. If you or I are trusting Christ and desiring to follow Him and be more like Him, it would be more difficult to be outside of His will than it would be to stay in it.
But, the decisions that we have freedom to make have real consequences. How many ministry opportunities am I faced with daily? I don't know. How many opportunities come and go unnoticed because I was in my own little world - thinking about something else? What would have happened had I made that phone call, engaged in that situation when I had the time, turned right instead of left? Who knows. Again, I don't fear that by turning left and not right I am somehow outside of God's will for my life. But, choosing one path necessarily means not choosing all the others. And, oftentimes, different paths go different directions.
I fear coming to the end and realizing that I missed a more adventurous path - a path of greater kingdom impact. Instead, I chose... not a sinful path - not a path outside of God's will - just... an easier path. A path with less rewards, less impact - a path of lesser resistance. I have a keen understanding that I only get one shot at this thing called life. I have the fleeting opportunity to magnify the glory of God in my flesh in the few short years I am here.
I don't want to miss it.
I really, really don't want to miss it.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
In which I do pre-marital counseling for a couple twice my age
As a pastor I do a fair share of weddings. I also do a good bit of pre-marital counseling before those weddings take place. I have never thought of myself as much of a counselor, but I enjoy doing pre-marital sessions. Kelly and I had great counsel before our marriage. We are still benefiting from the wisdom we received.
I am currently doing pre-marital counseling with a couple that is definitely "out of the norm" for me. Usually, the couples I deal with are pretty young (usually twentysomethings). This couple is seventysomething. They had both lost their mate to death and have found each other later in life.
I think that pre-marital counseling is important, even in this type of situation because we all bring baggage in our relationships. We have certain ways we respond to stress, certain ways we resolve conflict, certain beliefs about money, etc, etc. These things need to be talked through. And so, I feel I can made a good case as to why this type of counseling is important, no matter your age. However, it is still a bit intimidating to be the pastor in this situation. Who am I to tell them anything? One of the individuals was married for close to 50 years! They should be counseling me.
Can I just say that I love this couple? Wow. They are so quick to admit their faults; so quick to admit that they don't have all the answers; so transparent in their desire to honor God in their marriage; so eager to learn principles that can benefit them in the future; so humble; so gracious. I love their dependence upon the Holy Spirit as they move into a new chapter of life. I love their sense of adventure.
It seems like age either makes people harder or softer - bitter or better - more gracious or more intolerant. As people get older they tend to move toward the extremes. A gracious person becomes very gracious. A bitter person, very bitter.
I am glad I have people in my life that can show me the way and paint a picture of what it means to age well. God bless them.
I am currently doing pre-marital counseling with a couple that is definitely "out of the norm" for me. Usually, the couples I deal with are pretty young (usually twentysomethings). This couple is seventysomething. They had both lost their mate to death and have found each other later in life.
I think that pre-marital counseling is important, even in this type of situation because we all bring baggage in our relationships. We have certain ways we respond to stress, certain ways we resolve conflict, certain beliefs about money, etc, etc. These things need to be talked through. And so, I feel I can made a good case as to why this type of counseling is important, no matter your age. However, it is still a bit intimidating to be the pastor in this situation. Who am I to tell them anything? One of the individuals was married for close to 50 years! They should be counseling me.
Can I just say that I love this couple? Wow. They are so quick to admit their faults; so quick to admit that they don't have all the answers; so transparent in their desire to honor God in their marriage; so eager to learn principles that can benefit them in the future; so humble; so gracious. I love their dependence upon the Holy Spirit as they move into a new chapter of life. I love their sense of adventure.
It seems like age either makes people harder or softer - bitter or better - more gracious or more intolerant. As people get older they tend to move toward the extremes. A gracious person becomes very gracious. A bitter person, very bitter.
I am glad I have people in my life that can show me the way and paint a picture of what it means to age well. God bless them.
Monday, July 9, 2007
A good movie
I saw a good movie last night. Maybe you have seen it.
It was about a wonderful person with some unorthodox interpersonal skills and communication methods who helps a group of troubled teens. There was a lot of drama in the movie about the personal lives of the kids and the adult who was there to help them. There was also a lot of friction between the kids - at least at the beginning of the movie. But, alas - the wonderful main character breaks through the defenses of these troubled kids - wins their hearts and unites them like a family. Together they overcome insurmountable odds and achieve unheard of success.
Have you seen that one?
Maybe I am just a softy, but I love that movie. I can watch it again and again.
I think movie producers realize how much I like it as well. They keep releasing new versions of it. A couple of times per year I can watch a new take on the same story. Sometimes the setting is sports (like Hoosiers and Remember the Titans), sometimes it is the classroom (like Stand and Deliver, Dead Poets Society and Freedom Writers - the movie I saw last night). Usually, they are pretty good.
Freedom Writers was excellent. But, when I think about it - it really is (essentially) the same movie as all the others - with different characters, a different setting and different plot twists. But, at its core, it is the same essential plot. And, I love that plot.
What is it about that plot that I like so much?
I love the redemption of it all. I love the idea that an ordinary person can make a radical difference (for good) in some one's life. I love that one person's effort can be multiplied into many people and that the impact of that one person can be felt in future generations.
I love that.
Deep down, that is what I want my story to be. In the movie of my life I long to be the main character who leads ordinary people through the power of God's Spirit - and together we see the extraordinary take place. And people who didn't like each other before end up loving each other. And timid people become bold people. And a divided church becomes a united church. And marriages are healed and families restored and brokenness is mended and an old, old story of Jesus and His love becomes new and fresh and powerful outside the walls of the church. And an entire culture feels the impact of the community of faith.
Wow! That would make a great movie.
It was about a wonderful person with some unorthodox interpersonal skills and communication methods who helps a group of troubled teens. There was a lot of drama in the movie about the personal lives of the kids and the adult who was there to help them. There was also a lot of friction between the kids - at least at the beginning of the movie. But, alas - the wonderful main character breaks through the defenses of these troubled kids - wins their hearts and unites them like a family. Together they overcome insurmountable odds and achieve unheard of success.
Have you seen that one?
Maybe I am just a softy, but I love that movie. I can watch it again and again.
I think movie producers realize how much I like it as well. They keep releasing new versions of it. A couple of times per year I can watch a new take on the same story. Sometimes the setting is sports (like Hoosiers and Remember the Titans), sometimes it is the classroom (like Stand and Deliver, Dead Poets Society and Freedom Writers - the movie I saw last night). Usually, they are pretty good.
Freedom Writers was excellent. But, when I think about it - it really is (essentially) the same movie as all the others - with different characters, a different setting and different plot twists. But, at its core, it is the same essential plot. And, I love that plot.
What is it about that plot that I like so much?
I love the redemption of it all. I love the idea that an ordinary person can make a radical difference (for good) in some one's life. I love that one person's effort can be multiplied into many people and that the impact of that one person can be felt in future generations.
I love that.
Deep down, that is what I want my story to be. In the movie of my life I long to be the main character who leads ordinary people through the power of God's Spirit - and together we see the extraordinary take place. And people who didn't like each other before end up loving each other. And timid people become bold people. And a divided church becomes a united church. And marriages are healed and families restored and brokenness is mended and an old, old story of Jesus and His love becomes new and fresh and powerful outside the walls of the church. And an entire culture feels the impact of the community of faith.
Wow! That would make a great movie.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Quote of the Day - June 7
"If the world is sane, then Jesus is mad as a hatter and the Last Supper is the Mad Tea Party. The world says, Mind you own business, and Jesus says, There is no such thing as your own business. The world says, Follow the wisest course and be a success, and Jesus says, Follow me and be crucified. The world says, Drive carefully - the life you save may be your own - and Jesus says, Whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. The world says, Law and order, and Jesus says, Love. The world says, Get, and Jesus says, Give. In terms of the world's sanity, Jesus is as crazy as a coot, and anybody who thinks he can follow him without being a little crazy too is laboring less under the cross than under a delusion. "We are fools for Christ's sake," Paul says, faith says - the faith that ultimately the foolishness of God is wiser than the wisdom of men, the lunacy of Jesus saner that the grim sanity of the world."
Frederick Buechner, The Faces of Jesus.
Frederick Buechner, The Faces of Jesus.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Dull
Starting this blog has made me feel at times like Peter at the Transfiguration. Peter, not knowing what to say, said...
Not much writing lately because I haven't felt like it and I haven't really known what to say. I have not been feeling terribly eloquent - or clever - or creative. I am actually feeling quite dull of brain and spirit.
But, I know that God is still at work in and around me. Sometimes it just doesn't look like it... or feel like it. It comes as no shock to anyone who might be reading this blog to know that even pastors go through times of dryness and distance - when the glory of the "mission" seems squashed by daily, mundane maintenance - when the pleasures of sweet communion seem much more real in theory than experience.
Today, my mind is drawn back to a dog-eared prayer in one of my favorite books by A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God. Here it is (changing "thee" and "thy" to "you" and "your").
"Oh God, I have tasted your goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed at my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want you; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me your glory, I pray, so that I may know you indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me the grace to rise and follow you up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long."
Isn't that good? This prayer is dog-eared is because I have visited it before. On many occasions - spanning years and years - I have felt the same longing, the same frustration. Is that a shameful thing - that I feel just as needy now as I did then? I hope not, because it seems to be the story of my journey. God seems to teach me dependence, not through success and mission advancement, but through times of dryness, inadequacy and a profound discontent with who I really am.
I am in one of those times.
By the way - the Honduran team had a great trip. They gave away tons of food packs; they equipped a hospital and a clinic with much needed medicine and equipment; they fitted and gave away all-terrain wheelchairs to very eager recipients. Good job. No coffee - but I guess I'll let that slide.
Not much writing lately because I haven't felt like it and I haven't really known what to say. I have not been feeling terribly eloquent - or clever - or creative. I am actually feeling quite dull of brain and spirit.
But, I know that God is still at work in and around me. Sometimes it just doesn't look like it... or feel like it. It comes as no shock to anyone who might be reading this blog to know that even pastors go through times of dryness and distance - when the glory of the "mission" seems squashed by daily, mundane maintenance - when the pleasures of sweet communion seem much more real in theory than experience.
Today, my mind is drawn back to a dog-eared prayer in one of my favorite books by A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God. Here it is (changing "thee" and "thy" to "you" and "your").
"Oh God, I have tasted your goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed at my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want you; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me your glory, I pray, so that I may know you indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me the grace to rise and follow you up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long."
Isn't that good? This prayer is dog-eared is because I have visited it before. On many occasions - spanning years and years - I have felt the same longing, the same frustration. Is that a shameful thing - that I feel just as needy now as I did then? I hope not, because it seems to be the story of my journey. God seems to teach me dependence, not through success and mission advancement, but through times of dryness, inadequacy and a profound discontent with who I really am.
I am in one of those times.
By the way - the Honduran team had a great trip. They gave away tons of food packs; they equipped a hospital and a clinic with much needed medicine and equipment; they fitted and gave away all-terrain wheelchairs to very eager recipients. Good job. No coffee - but I guess I'll let that slide.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Why don't we pray more?
Loaded question, I know. If I could solve the problem of why Christians pray so little, I could write a book and make lots of money.
A little over a week ago I preached a sermon about the time when the apostles were unable to cast out a demon (Luke 9; Mark 9; Matt. 17). In Matthew's account Jesus says their inability is due to the littleness of their faith (which is not really a littleness in "quantity" because faith the size of a mustard seed can move a mountain. Somehow, the "littleness" refers to their regard toward the object of their faith - for it is God's Spirit which moves mountains. Zech. 4:6-7). In Mark's account it is clear that what the apostles were trying to accomplish can only be done through prayer. The disciples weren't trusting which was evidenced by their lack of prayer.
But, earlier in Luke chapter 9, Jesus sent the 12 out to proclaim the kingdom, heal the sick and cast out demons. Jesus empowered them to do these things. Then, just a few verses later - because of their lack of faith and lack of prayer - the 12 are found impotent to do what they are already empowered to do.
Isn't that interesting?
They had a history of success and some understanding of their own empowerment. Evidently, they didn't think they needed to trust anymore - didn't really need to pray.
This gives me tremendous insight as to why I often pray so little. We do the things that are important to us. The reason we are not fervent in prayer is because deep down we don't think we really need to be. Somehow we think we can make it on our own - do it on our own.
But, I know better. I really do. I have seen Him answer prayer. I know the commands of Scripture. I know how important prayer is. I know how wonderful it can be. When I set aside a significant amount of time for prayer, I gain new perspective on my circumstances; I usually feel refreshed and connected to my creator. Invariably I ask myself why I don't do that everyday. I don't know the answer.
In my marriage - I love praying with Kelly. It draws us together as a couple. I can feel closer to her and to God at the same time - how great is that? So, why don't I initiate prayer with my wife on a daily basis? I am not quite sure.
We had a prayer gathering at church this past weekend. What a wonderful time. I love hearing the murmur of prayer huddles scattered throughout a large room. I left thinking, "why don't we do this more often?" Not sure - just not a priority, I guess.
I think we all feel a measure of guilt over this. Somehow, none of us feel like we are where we are supposed to be. And, usually our solution has to do with frequency and duration. "I am committing to praying more frequently and for longer periods of time", we say. But, I don't think that frequency is the problem. Frequency is the symptom. It's a heart problem - it's a dependency problem - an arrogance problem - a problem of self-sufficiency. When we feel the distinct need for God, we pray. The reason we don't "pray always" is because we don't always feel the need for God. Plain and simple. That's our problem.
A little over a week ago I preached a sermon about the time when the apostles were unable to cast out a demon (Luke 9; Mark 9; Matt. 17). In Matthew's account Jesus says their inability is due to the littleness of their faith (which is not really a littleness in "quantity" because faith the size of a mustard seed can move a mountain. Somehow, the "littleness" refers to their regard toward the object of their faith - for it is God's Spirit which moves mountains. Zech. 4:6-7). In Mark's account it is clear that what the apostles were trying to accomplish can only be done through prayer. The disciples weren't trusting which was evidenced by their lack of prayer.
But, earlier in Luke chapter 9, Jesus sent the 12 out to proclaim the kingdom, heal the sick and cast out demons. Jesus empowered them to do these things. Then, just a few verses later - because of their lack of faith and lack of prayer - the 12 are found impotent to do what they are already empowered to do.
Isn't that interesting?
They had a history of success and some understanding of their own empowerment. Evidently, they didn't think they needed to trust anymore - didn't really need to pray.
This gives me tremendous insight as to why I often pray so little. We do the things that are important to us. The reason we are not fervent in prayer is because deep down we don't think we really need to be. Somehow we think we can make it on our own - do it on our own.
But, I know better. I really do. I have seen Him answer prayer. I know the commands of Scripture. I know how important prayer is. I know how wonderful it can be. When I set aside a significant amount of time for prayer, I gain new perspective on my circumstances; I usually feel refreshed and connected to my creator. Invariably I ask myself why I don't do that everyday. I don't know the answer.
In my marriage - I love praying with Kelly. It draws us together as a couple. I can feel closer to her and to God at the same time - how great is that? So, why don't I initiate prayer with my wife on a daily basis? I am not quite sure.
We had a prayer gathering at church this past weekend. What a wonderful time. I love hearing the murmur of prayer huddles scattered throughout a large room. I left thinking, "why don't we do this more often?" Not sure - just not a priority, I guess.
I think we all feel a measure of guilt over this. Somehow, none of us feel like we are where we are supposed to be. And, usually our solution has to do with frequency and duration. "I am committing to praying more frequently and for longer periods of time", we say. But, I don't think that frequency is the problem. Frequency is the symptom. It's a heart problem - it's a dependency problem - an arrogance problem - a problem of self-sufficiency. When we feel the distinct need for God, we pray. The reason we don't "pray always" is because we don't always feel the need for God. Plain and simple. That's our problem.
Monday, April 16, 2007
I love our small-group
I need to take a minute to say how wonderful our small-group is. Like a lot of churches, we have found small-groups to be indispensable in creating an atmosphere for the Biblical "one anothers" (love one another, encourage one another, spur one another on to love and good deeds, etc). I am a big believer in putting Christians in smaller groups to live life together. All small-groups struggle to one degree or another in being the type of community the Bible calls us to be. Sometimes small-groups can be a very frustrating experience. There are other times, though, when a small-group is such a beautiful thing.
The group that Kelly and I help lead has got to be the most varied group I have ever been apart of. We have young couples with toddlers and other couples with grown kids. We have 5 singles ranging from college age to young professional to older and divorced. We have 3 folks who have just come out of an ultra-legalistic church community (sort of Amish like, only more oppressive). We have another guy who is sort of a "biker type" who has just recently come out of drug and alcohol abuse, trouble with the law and failed marriages. Every time we meet I look out at the jammed packed living room of people standing, or sitting on the floor or at tables or on the sofas with styrofoam plates of food precariously balanced on their knees and I just smile. We are such an odd group.
Over the last several months we have been talking about and studying the concept of "grace". How great to see people in such different stages of life and from wildly different backgrounds all united together around our common need for grace. It is such a wonderful picture of what the church is supposed to be.
I love the way our group opens up and talks about important issues; I love the way they pray for and with each other; I love the way they have reached out to and welcomed new folks to our little "community;" I love their desire and heart for serving others.
But, this is the sad part... When I started this group a year or so ago, I started it with a co-leader (Scott) who had never led a small-group before. The plan was always to grow the group to viable size, establish the group in what a small-group was supposed to look like, and to get Scott to where he was comfortable to lead on his own - and then Kelly and I would duck out and start another group. Well, the time has come.
My plan now is for Kelly and I to step out and for Scott to give some leadership opportunities to another guy in our group in hopes of dividing the group soon.
While this is a wonderful place to be, it is still kind of sad. I am tempted to just stay where I am - because I like it here. Like everyone else I have to fight the urge to "keep a good thing going". But, as soon as we try to hang on to and preserve - that which we are preserving ceases to be what it once was. We have to keep moving forward. Change and growth are good things.
The group that Kelly and I help lead has got to be the most varied group I have ever been apart of. We have young couples with toddlers and other couples with grown kids. We have 5 singles ranging from college age to young professional to older and divorced. We have 3 folks who have just come out of an ultra-legalistic church community (sort of Amish like, only more oppressive). We have another guy who is sort of a "biker type" who has just recently come out of drug and alcohol abuse, trouble with the law and failed marriages. Every time we meet I look out at the jammed packed living room of people standing, or sitting on the floor or at tables or on the sofas with styrofoam plates of food precariously balanced on their knees and I just smile. We are such an odd group.
Over the last several months we have been talking about and studying the concept of "grace". How great to see people in such different stages of life and from wildly different backgrounds all united together around our common need for grace. It is such a wonderful picture of what the church is supposed to be.
I love the way our group opens up and talks about important issues; I love the way they pray for and with each other; I love the way they have reached out to and welcomed new folks to our little "community;" I love their desire and heart for serving others.
But, this is the sad part... When I started this group a year or so ago, I started it with a co-leader (Scott) who had never led a small-group before. The plan was always to grow the group to viable size, establish the group in what a small-group was supposed to look like, and to get Scott to where he was comfortable to lead on his own - and then Kelly and I would duck out and start another group. Well, the time has come.
My plan now is for Kelly and I to step out and for Scott to give some leadership opportunities to another guy in our group in hopes of dividing the group soon.
While this is a wonderful place to be, it is still kind of sad. I am tempted to just stay where I am - because I like it here. Like everyone else I have to fight the urge to "keep a good thing going". But, as soon as we try to hang on to and preserve - that which we are preserving ceases to be what it once was. We have to keep moving forward. Change and growth are good things.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
A different way of seeing
My artistic background and training are in the visual arts (specifically - drawing, print making, pottery and painting). I am a firm believer that artistic ability can be learned and developed. I was planning on being an art teacher after all. While it is true that some people seem to be born with the artistic "knack", I think that "knack" is misunderstood by most who would not call themselves artistic. Art is not primarily an issue of bio mechanics - how you hold the pencil or the brush, or how you mix color. I believe that the key ingredient to great art is how the artist "sees" the world around him. Great artists see differently than other people do. Everyday objects and scenes are seen in terms of form, line, hue, light (direct, refracted, cool, warm), proportion, space, balance, etc.
Most of us don't really see that well.
I am fascinated by the art of photography. And, this is not because I am good at it -I'm not. I am astoundingly average. But, I am fascinated because it seems like the technology of the camera levels the playing field for everyone. We all have the potential of being great artists - the camera does the work. And yet, so few of us can do it well. Why is that? Imagine taking 99 of us average people and adding one Pulitzer Prize winning photojournalist. Give us all the same type of camera and then release us all to photograph the same event (like a Presidential Inauguration). A few of us might get lucky and get some really great shots. For the most part, however, the photojournalist would outpace us all. For he/she has been trained how to "see". The equipment is the same; the scenery is the same; the people we are photographing are the same. The great shots are already there just waiting to be captured by any of us, waiting to be found. They are there, right in front of our noses - and we all see them.. and then most of us walk right by. While seeing we don't really SEE.
I have used this principle to teach people how to study their Bible. Familiarity with Bible passages causes most of us to skim over what we think we already know. We rarely stop to fully see - afresh and anew.
I had a great conversation with Kelly last night about writing. She is a tremendous writer but she feels like her creative well is dried up and empty. She described her days as spilling over into one another in endless to-do lists that never get done. Admittedly, not the most fertile soil for creative thinking. But in the end we both came to the conclusion that God is there, even in the mundane. The stories are there. Everyday conversations can either be seen as useless, throw away words - or we can hear in that other person and see on their face the pain of their circumstances, the frustration of their sin or even the joy of God's redemptive work. There's a story behind that voice. How well do we see? How well do we listen? God, as the Master Artist of the beauty all around us has planted art in obscure places for those who are willing to search for it. The stories are there, waiting to be found. The great shots are there. The beauty is there. God is at work and He is leaving His finger prints.
But, even as I write this I know in my heart that I do not practice it. While seeing, I rarely see - while hearing, I rarely hear. God is revealing himself in tremendous ways through his creation - through conversations with those made in his image. And while God's creation cries out for the glory of God and eternal souls grapple with the issues of eternity, I blindly just go about my day.
And the God who is unseen remains... unseen.
Most of us don't really see that well.
I am fascinated by the art of photography. And, this is not because I am good at it -I'm not. I am astoundingly average. But, I am fascinated because it seems like the technology of the camera levels the playing field for everyone. We all have the potential of being great artists - the camera does the work. And yet, so few of us can do it well. Why is that? Imagine taking 99 of us average people and adding one Pulitzer Prize winning photojournalist. Give us all the same type of camera and then release us all to photograph the same event (like a Presidential Inauguration). A few of us might get lucky and get some really great shots. For the most part, however, the photojournalist would outpace us all. For he/she has been trained how to "see". The equipment is the same; the scenery is the same; the people we are photographing are the same. The great shots are already there just waiting to be captured by any of us, waiting to be found. They are there, right in front of our noses - and we all see them.. and then most of us walk right by. While seeing we don't really SEE.
I have used this principle to teach people how to study their Bible. Familiarity with Bible passages causes most of us to skim over what we think we already know. We rarely stop to fully see - afresh and anew.
I had a great conversation with Kelly last night about writing. She is a tremendous writer but she feels like her creative well is dried up and empty. She described her days as spilling over into one another in endless to-do lists that never get done. Admittedly, not the most fertile soil for creative thinking. But in the end we both came to the conclusion that God is there, even in the mundane. The stories are there. Everyday conversations can either be seen as useless, throw away words - or we can hear in that other person and see on their face the pain of their circumstances, the frustration of their sin or even the joy of God's redemptive work. There's a story behind that voice. How well do we see? How well do we listen? God, as the Master Artist of the beauty all around us has planted art in obscure places for those who are willing to search for it. The stories are there, waiting to be found. The great shots are there. The beauty is there. God is at work and He is leaving His finger prints.
But, even as I write this I know in my heart that I do not practice it. While seeing, I rarely see - while hearing, I rarely hear. God is revealing himself in tremendous ways through his creation - through conversations with those made in his image. And while God's creation cries out for the glory of God and eternal souls grapple with the issues of eternity, I blindly just go about my day.
And the God who is unseen remains... unseen.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
In the mean time
My acting debut went ok last night. My cold is much better. I remembered all the things I was supposed to say. I got some good feedback. All in all I felt like our Good Friday gathering was quite worshipful. We took communion together and remembered our Lord's death. It was a meaningful time. Tomorrow is Easter - the celebration of the most distinctive doctrine in the Christian faith - the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Today is Saturday.
The Saturday between Good Friday and Easter Sunday is sort of an awkward day for me. As a pastor who tries to design worship experiences, I want a Good Friday time to be somber, serious and somewhat dark. It should foster an attitude of humility, reflection and gratitude. Easter Sunday should be bright and loud with an attitude of celebration and victory. But, somewhere between the despair of Friday and the celebration of Sunday comes... Saturday - the mean time.
We know what happened Friday; we know what's coming Sunday. So, today we just... wait, I guess.
It seems like a lot of our lives is spent "in the mean time". When I felt like it was time for me to move out of youth ministry several years ago, I went through about 18 months of difficult "mean time" - knowing something different was coming but not knowing what or when. I bet I have had 5 or 6 conversations with individuals just in the last few weeks - people who are going through the same thing in their career. It seems like God gives us a desire or a dream and then makes us wait - and wait to see it come to fruition. In fact, it seems like the wait is much longer than it needs to be. I know several couples that have been praying earnestly for children. They would be great parents too. And they continue to wait. I know that there is a high likelihood that eventually they will have children - either though natural biology or through adoption. But today, their arms are still empty. Life in the mean time.
It is obvious that the ability to wait is important to God. It is a common theme in all of our stories. Is there anything that tests our faith more than waiting? In fact, one gets the impression that the more important the mission - the more important the promise, the longer the people have to wait to see it come to pass. How old was Abraham before the promised son was finally given? How long was Moses in Midian? How long has the church waited for Christ to finally come back?
Our ability to wait says a lot about us. It says a lot about who we are trusting in too. This is a tough principle for me. Patience is not one of my virtues. But God is teaching me.
Today is Saturday.
The Saturday between Good Friday and Easter Sunday is sort of an awkward day for me. As a pastor who tries to design worship experiences, I want a Good Friday time to be somber, serious and somewhat dark. It should foster an attitude of humility, reflection and gratitude. Easter Sunday should be bright and loud with an attitude of celebration and victory. But, somewhere between the despair of Friday and the celebration of Sunday comes... Saturday - the mean time.
We know what happened Friday; we know what's coming Sunday. So, today we just... wait, I guess.
It seems like a lot of our lives is spent "in the mean time". When I felt like it was time for me to move out of youth ministry several years ago, I went through about 18 months of difficult "mean time" - knowing something different was coming but not knowing what or when. I bet I have had 5 or 6 conversations with individuals just in the last few weeks - people who are going through the same thing in their career. It seems like God gives us a desire or a dream and then makes us wait - and wait to see it come to fruition. In fact, it seems like the wait is much longer than it needs to be. I know several couples that have been praying earnestly for children. They would be great parents too. And they continue to wait. I know that there is a high likelihood that eventually they will have children - either though natural biology or through adoption. But today, their arms are still empty. Life in the mean time.
It is obvious that the ability to wait is important to God. It is a common theme in all of our stories. Is there anything that tests our faith more than waiting? In fact, one gets the impression that the more important the mission - the more important the promise, the longer the people have to wait to see it come to pass. How old was Abraham before the promised son was finally given? How long was Moses in Midian? How long has the church waited for Christ to finally come back?
Our ability to wait says a lot about us. It says a lot about who we are trusting in too. This is a tough principle for me. Patience is not one of my virtues. But God is teaching me.
Monday, April 2, 2007
Monday musings Apirl 2
I am still reeling over my sermon yesterday. There are certain passages that make me feel especially hypocritical as a preacher. Yesterday's was one of them. The passage in question is Luke 9:10-27. Jesus has just revealed himself through series of amazing miracles (stilling the storm, the Gerasene demoniac, the hemorrhaging woman and the raising of Jairus' daughter) - He then sends the 12 out on a training mission, empowered to perform miracles of their own. He was not only training the 12 for disciple-making, He was revealing himself in a unique way. Jesus isn't just a prophet or teacher - he is divine. He doesn't just have the power to do amazing things, he has the power to empower others to do amazing things. So, when he calls them to step out in obedience and do something that they cannot do - they are to obey and do it anyway. This is tested in 9:13 when he tells them to feed thousands of hungry people.
All of that is pretty convicting - stepping out in radical obedience to do what we cannot do. That's tough for guys like me who tend to play it safe.
But the worst is yet to come.
Jesus goes on to ask if disciples have learned their lesson. Do they understand who Jesus is? Peter gets it right and confesses that Jesus is the "Christ of God". Then Jesus drops a bombshell - he will be rejected and killed and then rise on the third day. It is obvious that this is not what Jesus' disciples were expecting to hear.
It would be a whole lot more enjoyable to follow a Messiah who brings joy and blessing and freedom and prosperity to his people. But, what does it mean to follow one who was rejected and tortured to death? Jesus describes what this will mean for his followers. As they publicly align themselves with one whom the world has rejected, they will have to carry that scorn and derision daily. And, if they try to save their lives they will ultimately lose them - but if they willingly lay down their lives for the sake of Christ - they will find life.
This is the part that is hard to preach.
I am pretty wimpy when it comes to hardship or suffering. I do not "count it all joy"; I count the minutes till it's over. I tend to do whatever is necessary to insure my life is pain free and comfortable. Not that we are to seek out hardship - but it seems like Christ is telling us to expect suffering if we are going to be a follower of his. I don't expect it. To be quite honest, I expect to be treated better than Christ was. I rarely - very rarely - suffer for the sake of Christ.
Our understanding of who Jesus is and what his earthly ministry is all about affects our perception of what it means to be his follower. Is the Jesus that we follow wearing a crown of gold? A crown of roses? A crown of thorns? A student is not above his teacher. If Jesus wore a crown of thorns, how is it that I expect to follow him wearing a crown of roses?
All of that is pretty convicting - stepping out in radical obedience to do what we cannot do. That's tough for guys like me who tend to play it safe.
But the worst is yet to come.
Jesus goes on to ask if disciples have learned their lesson. Do they understand who Jesus is? Peter gets it right and confesses that Jesus is the "Christ of God". Then Jesus drops a bombshell - he will be rejected and killed and then rise on the third day. It is obvious that this is not what Jesus' disciples were expecting to hear.
It would be a whole lot more enjoyable to follow a Messiah who brings joy and blessing and freedom and prosperity to his people. But, what does it mean to follow one who was rejected and tortured to death? Jesus describes what this will mean for his followers. As they publicly align themselves with one whom the world has rejected, they will have to carry that scorn and derision daily. And, if they try to save their lives they will ultimately lose them - but if they willingly lay down their lives for the sake of Christ - they will find life.
This is the part that is hard to preach.
I am pretty wimpy when it comes to hardship or suffering. I do not "count it all joy"; I count the minutes till it's over. I tend to do whatever is necessary to insure my life is pain free and comfortable. Not that we are to seek out hardship - but it seems like Christ is telling us to expect suffering if we are going to be a follower of his. I don't expect it. To be quite honest, I expect to be treated better than Christ was. I rarely - very rarely - suffer for the sake of Christ.
Our understanding of who Jesus is and what his earthly ministry is all about affects our perception of what it means to be his follower. Is the Jesus that we follow wearing a crown of gold? A crown of roses? A crown of thorns? A student is not above his teacher. If Jesus wore a crown of thorns, how is it that I expect to follow him wearing a crown of roses?
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