As a pastor I do a fair share of weddings. I also do a good bit of pre-marital counseling before those weddings take place. I have never thought of myself as much of a counselor, but I enjoy doing pre-marital sessions. Kelly and I had great counsel before our marriage. We are still benefiting from the wisdom we received.
I am currently doing pre-marital counseling with a couple that is definitely "out of the norm" for me. Usually, the couples I deal with are pretty young (usually twentysomethings). This couple is seventysomething. They had both lost their mate to death and have found each other later in life.
I think that pre-marital counseling is important, even in this type of situation because we all bring baggage in our relationships. We have certain ways we respond to stress, certain ways we resolve conflict, certain beliefs about money, etc, etc. These things need to be talked through. And so, I feel I can made a good case as to why this type of counseling is important, no matter your age. However, it is still a bit intimidating to be the pastor in this situation. Who am I to tell them anything? One of the individuals was married for close to 50 years! They should be counseling me.
Can I just say that I love this couple? Wow. They are so quick to admit their faults; so quick to admit that they don't have all the answers; so transparent in their desire to honor God in their marriage; so eager to learn principles that can benefit them in the future; so humble; so gracious. I love their dependence upon the Holy Spirit as they move into a new chapter of life. I love their sense of adventure.
It seems like age either makes people harder or softer - bitter or better - more gracious or more intolerant. As people get older they tend to move toward the extremes. A gracious person becomes very gracious. A bitter person, very bitter.
I am glad I have people in my life that can show me the way and paint a picture of what it means to age well. God bless them.
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3 comments:
That's a neat story! :) Joey and I loved premarital counseling. (Steve has a really killer regimen, too.) I'm sure you'll do great!
I enjoyed reading that. The rabbi who officiated at our wedding gave us some good, thought-provoking advice, and I'm with you on how important it is for couples--no matter their years--to talk things through before making a commitment with and before God.
I do appreciate a son-in-law who knows how to respect his elders!
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