Big fear #2

Continuing with my phobia theme.



Here is my big fear #2 - Missing out. I have this pretty significant fear that I am going to come to the end and realize that I missed it - that I missed the big opportunities, took a wrong turn, found myself a long way down the wrong road. But when I say I fear missing key opportunities, I am not talking about financial/investment/business/career opportunities. I think a lot of people fear missing their big chance to become successful and/or rich. I honestly don't have that fear - at least not too much. Partly that is because I am so completely inept when it comes to business and money. There is no way I would be able to tell the difference between a good business opportunity and a bad one - a good investment from a bad one. No way. If I feared missing my big chance to make money, I would be a basket case.

When I talk about opportunities, I am talking about ministry opportunities - opportunities to expand the kingdom - throw deep - make a difference.

I am of the belief that God's will for my life has much more to do with the type of person I am than the place that I am living or the job I am doing or whether or not I turn right or left today. I think that within the will of God we have a tremendous amount of freedom to pursue our passions, make decisions, pick a path. I don't fear missing God's will for my life. His will for me is plainly stated in Scripture. If you or I are trusting Christ and desiring to follow Him and be more like Him, it would be more difficult to be outside of His will than it would be to stay in it.

But, the decisions that we have freedom to make have real consequences. How many ministry opportunities am I faced with daily? I don't know. How many opportunities come and go unnoticed because I was in my own little world - thinking about something else? What would have happened had I made that phone call, engaged in that situation when I had the time, turned right instead of left? Who knows. Again, I don't fear that by turning left and not right I am somehow outside of God's will for my life. But, choosing one path necessarily means not choosing all the others. And, oftentimes, different paths go different directions.

I fear coming to the end and realizing that I missed a more adventurous path - a path of greater kingdom impact. Instead, I chose... not a sinful path - not a path outside of God's will - just... an easier path. A path with less rewards, less impact - a path of lesser resistance. I have a keen understanding that I only get one shot at this thing called life. I have the fleeting opportunity to magnify the glory of God in my flesh in the few short years I am here.

I don't want to miss it.

I really, really don't want to miss it.

Fears

I was talking to John (our new pastor of student ministries) the other day about blogs and whatnot. He thought it would be cool to have a section or theme on a blog just concerning phobias. John has some pretty cool phobias - up near the top are tornadoes. He is deathly afraid of tornadoes - which is actually quite understandable to be deathly afraid of something that could in fact kill you. But, in order to deal with his phobia - he decided to face it head on. He became a storm chaser. Isn't that great!? If I had a real and genuine phobia of tornadoes I would not become a storm chaser, and I certainly wouldn't be living in Kansas. I guess I am just a wimp.

So, to steal from John's idea, here are my top phobias. (Actually, I will probably just write about one now. I'll write about others in future posts.)

Phobia #1 - Water. This is without question at the top of the list. But, when I say water, I don't mean water in a glass or water in a shower. I mean large bodies of deep and deadly water. I don't mind looking at lakes or oceans - just so long as I don't have to get in the water or be over the water in a boat. I pretty much keep my distance whenever possible - just enjoy the view from terra firma - know what I mean? This fear is probably due to the fact that I didn't learn to swim until I was a teenager. As a child, I had one too many occasions when I legitimately thought I was going to drown simply because I was in water that was 6 inches too deep. After swallowing a lot of pool water as a kid, I finally swallowed my pride (as a jr. high student) and took basic swimming with all the 6 yr olds through our rec. department. We learned how to stick our face in the water - blow bubbles - kick and make splashes while holding on to the side of the pool - stuff like that. I did eventually learn how to swim, but I rarely look for the chance to do it.

Did you see the movie "Unbreakable" with Bruce Willis? There is a scene near the end when the main character falls into a pool that has a pool cover on it. He gets tangled and wrapped up in the cover UNDER WATER! I get the heebeegeebees just thinking about it. Water is the stuff my nightmares are made of.

But, unlike John, I have no desire to "face my fears head on" by becoming a rescue swimmer or deep sea diver or something like that. Nope. Not me.

Hello, my name is Fun Dad, and I am here to help you.

This past weekend Kelly took our oldest daughter to Kansas City for a sort of "coming of age" weekend. They went through some material produced by Family Life Ministries called "Passport to Purity". They had a lot of things to talk about. They had some great conversations. But, Kelly also made the weekend special by going to some fun places and eating at cool restaurants. They had a great weekend.


I held down the fort with Emma and Grace.

This was the first weekend that I could remember when I was in charge of the kids without Kelly around. Emma looked at me on Saturday morning and said, "So, what are we going to do?" I hadn't really thought about that.

Emma started feeling pretty left out and a bit sorry for herself that her big sister was having this great weekend with mom and she was stuck at home with dad. I can't say that I blame her. I would much rather spend the weekend with Kelly than with me.

I then decided to be "fun dad" for the weekend (instead of "boring dad" - which is a role I feel more comfortable in). We went to the store and bought food for the weekend - whatever happened to look good at the time (pastries, stuff for french toast, cokes, etc.). We went to a cool store that sells stuff from all over the world and we banged on some bongo drums. We rented and watched a movie. We had friends over to play Settlers of Katan. We went out for ice cream.

All and all we had a pretty good weekend at home. Way too many sweets though. Blech. My stomach is still not feeling very happy with me.

I am glad I don't have to be "fun dad" every weekend.

Update for Aug 14

Over the past several weeks - every time I have thought about this blog I have felt like a bit of a loser. I keep telling myself, "I'll write another post once I have something witty or inspiring or insightful to say." Alas... nothing.

How do you do it Jenna? For those of you who don't know Jenna - she is a super stud. She was in the youth group I led in Iowa - now she is in Dallas while her husband goes to Seminary. She is a blogging machine - and most of time it is funny too. I stand in awe. You can learn more than you ever wanted to know about Jenna at http://jennawoestman.blogspot.com/

Since I don't have anything terribly insightful to share - here is a basic update.

1. Because of an incredibly generous gift, it looks like I am going to get laser surgery on my eyes. Yep, Greg Holmes will finally be able to see - without contacts or glasses or anything. I am super, super excited. I have been wearing glasses since I was four years old. I am not sure when the surgery will be - I still have to go through the consultations and all that jazz. I can't wait.

2. We finally got the electric fence installed for our dog. I'm a believer. Dogs plus electricity is a really good equation.

3. Our new youth pastor is here. (His official title is Pastor of Student Ministries). Man, what a cool guy. He has been here for about a month. Our church in incredibly fortunate to have him.

4. My barista wife is loving here new part-time job. She has been able to have some great conversations with her co-workers and is learning to make some nifty espresso drinks. No discounts for spouses of employees, however - which is a poor business model if you ask me.

5. It is unbelievably hot here. This is like the third or fourth week in a row with heat indexes well over 100 degrees. I think I am getting soft in my middle age. I can't seem to get from the house to the car without feeling like I am starting to wilt. I am ready for fall.